You know… you’re not failing.
I know you have felt that way many times. Did you plop your child in front of the television so you could get a moment to yourself? Let them play on electronics just a little bit longer so you could do something as simple as take a shower? Cook a frozen pizza so you could sit outside and read a magazine?
Dishes piled up in the sink?
Had to wash a load of laundry a couple times because you could not get to fold it before it was completely wrinkled?
Lost your temper because you had to ask your children to pick up their things a dozen times?
…..none of these things make you a failure as a mother.
A mother’s love for her children is championed as unconditional and all encompassing. But guess what, love is even difficult for mom’s. It requires self-control, selflessness, and incredible amounts of patience. It is a day-to-day commitment that we at times do not even offer ourselves. Why do you beat yourself up when you falter?
Motherhood is challenging as we are constantly being pulled in countless directions. We wear many hats, and juggle them all day long. There is no guilt in being exhausted after that.
Some guilt is showing us that our love for our children is infinite, and that is a beautiful thing. Beyond that you are only harming yourself. The goal is to separate the unproductive and unearned feelings of guilt from the kind that helps us improve.
What do I mean by this?
Did you forget an event at your child’s school? This may be a valid time for a little guilt, but take appropriate action by adding things to your calendar as soon as you know about them. Grow from the lesson that the feeling brings.
Left your child unhappy with a babysitter so that you could join a friend for dinner or go to that yoga class you have been missing out on? Let that guilt go! You need that time, and in the end everyone will be happier for it.
Hey mom’s guess what? Behind every great kid is a mom who is afraid she is messing it all up. We are all alike, we are all human….no one is exempt from these feelings and we all want to do the best we can….but I am here to tell you that you already are!
YES YOU ARE!
Mom A.K.A. “The Entertainer”
Hear me when I say this, you do not need to entertain your children all day long. They thrive on special, quality time with you of course, but they need to learn to entertain themselves. They need time to do nothing. If you do not foster this at a young age you will find yourself with children that cannot entertain themselves…and you do not want that. All too often, children are micromanaged and over-scheduled. This leaves everyone unhappy.
In the end they will be much happier with time to themselves while you take the time that you need to treat yourself right. I am not talking about doing all of those things on your to do list such as having no dishes in the sink, or all of the laundry done. I mean do things that are just for you! Practice self-love!
Self-Care Mom Style
Make your Lists
I have recommended this exercise many times over the years with great results. Make a list of all the things you can think of that make you happy. Spend 15 minutes on this exercise. Do you like to read, paint, sing, dance, do yoga, spend time in nature, read a book, or take a bath? Make the list as thorough as you can. Begin incorporating one of these things into your life everyday. Be diligent in making the time.
Take a Bath
This blend is incredibly useful at the end of the day to relax and unwind.
Mix the following essential oils in a glass bottle:
Take 1-2 tsp fragrance free shampoo or Solubol and add 3-5 drops of your oil blend.
Mix to bath after water has been run.
(Optional 1 tbsp carrier oil such as jojoba)
Slide in and relax Mom. You deserve it!
*If you do not have access to a tub, this blend can also be used in a diffuser with great results.
Need to transport yourself somewhere but have no time to do it? Yep, sounds like every mom I know! Guided imagery or guided visualization is a great tool to use when you need to take your mind to a quiet, blissful sanctuary.
To utilize this great tool, get comfortable, preferably laying down, and begin to focus on your breath. Close your eyes and transport yourself to your favorite place. Take in all of the sights, smells, and sounds. Five to 10 minutes in your happy place will leave you both relaxed and energized. A great addition to this is your favorite blend. Here is one of mine!
Place drops in diffuser (as indicated on box instructions)
As a mom, we will all make mistakes, but how we bounce back from them is important. Rehashing mistakes over and over again is tiring. You cannot go back and change it, so you must move forward. Tell yourself you did your best, and keep going. I like using affirmations during times like this. You can pair it with an aromastick to help center you to be able to quickly move forward.
Here are a few examples:
I will let go of how I think today is supposed to go and accept how it is.
Just as the needs of my children matter, so do my own.
I am the exact parent my child needs and have no need to compare to others.
I am doing my best, and that will always be enough.
Confidence and calming aromastick
Place these oils on the cotton wick of an inhaler, and insert into casing. Use as needed alongside your chosen affirmation.
Motherhood: All love begins and ends there. – Robert Browning
There are going to be days when your cup runs over with joyful moments that brings tears to your eyes, and others that may make you want to run away….but one thing is for sure, you my dear are awesome! Don’t you forget it!
Happy Mother’s Day
Leslie Moldenauer, CHNC, HHP, Certified Aromatherapist, has been studying natural living and holistic wellness for over 10 years. Leslie is a trusted resource that covers essential oil safety and encompasses all that natural living has to offer. She is passionate about providing education and tools to help others make decisions regarding safety above all things when utilizing aromatherapy in the home.